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Rants

Are new cartoons really worse than what we used to watch?

It’s something you often hear thrown around in geek circles. New cartoons are so crap, they talk down to kids, they’re too goofy, the animation is bad. However, if we take off our nostalgia goggles is this really the case. My analysis below…

WARNING! If you don’t want some childhood memories shaken, read no further.

First we have “Batman:TAS”. Widely regarded as one of the best animated shows ever, it is routinely brought up as a bile spewing fanboy rants about how goofy “The Brave and the Bold” is. Now don’t get me wrong, I love “Batman: TAS”, but it wasn’t always perfect. It had it’s fair share of very goofy shit. Like this…

The animation in the last two Spider-Man series has been put down. Take a look at the “classic” 90’s series though.

Compared to the modern shows, this really is not good. As fanboys we routinely put down todays cartoons. Ben 10 sucks, screw Young Justice. At the same time we call the following cartoons pinnacles in classic TV. Yes, this…

and this…

and finally this.

I died a little inside when I watched that last one.

Now guys, next time you feel like complaining and being a cynical asshole, take another look.


Why I need a 3D TV…

The first screening of Avatar was a hoot and a holler.

I, unlike many film fans, love 3D. Not for everything mind you, but when 3D is used effectively it can be amazing. Jackass 3D, My Bloody Valentine and even Glee: Concert Experience were designed for 3D and better for it. I am really looking forward to Spider-Man and the Hobbit, both designed and shot with 3D in mind. Somehow though, when buying a new TV, I convinced myself I didn’t need a 3D one. I told myself the glasses are too expensive,  and I see any 3D movie I’m vaguely interested in at the cinema anyway. But then I found out about the 3D craze in Japan, and several movies that will likely never see a cinema release here (probably not Australia, and definately not Tasmania). So here’s my list of why I will eventually invest in my very own 3D TV.

Rabbit Horror 3D

Yeah, I know, it’s called “Tormented” in English now, but the original translated(?) title is too good to resist. This movie is about a boy known as the “Rabbit Killer” (he killed his sick pet at school?) who is sucked into another dimension. His sister must travel through the looking-glass (which looks a lot like an abandoned house) and save him from the evil rabbit (that seems to be Sadako in disguise). This is just the kind of wacked out, messed up, crazy awesome movie Japan does so well, and which will never, ever be released at a cinema in Launceston, Tasmania (damn you Village, you’re just lucky you guys are releasing “The Inbetweeners” movie). Guess I’ll wait for the inevitable American remake where Ashton Kutcher runs away from a duck dressed like Katherine Heigl.

Sadako 3D

Fact, “The Ring” is the second best Japanese movie ever (Battle Royale narrowly beats it out). The American remake is great too. The sequels range from good to ok to terrible (any movie with mind melding is an instant rate down, it sucked in Exorcist 3, just stop doing it). However this sequel is sounding pretty good. Back to basics and not too complicated, it follows a teacher who hears about an online video. This video claims to show a girl committing suicide, and anyone who watches it will follow suit. Familiar? Heck yes! Awesome? Most likely! Worth a cinema ticket? Oh yeah, just to see her come out the screen INTO THE CINEMA!

Pants will be crapped.

The Shock Labyrinth 3D

This movie is based on the incredible Haunted House attraction at the Fuji-Q Highland theme park in Japan. I’ve been there, it’s terrifying, and I would recommend it to anyone who has the opportunity to go.  Essentially this is kind of a Japanese Pirates of the Carribean, only with less pirates, and more haunted hospitals (and rabbits, what’s the go with all the rabbits?). Actually, I have heard the movie’s pretty terrible, but I should be able to waste my money if I want.

So there you have it, 3 crazy reasons to own a 3D TV. If you factor in the PS3’s adoption of 3D, straight to DVD (at least in Tasmania) fare like Shark Night 3D, and the chance to see Asia’s first 3D porn “3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstay” (it’s intriguing OK!) 3D TV seems like a must buy.

Damn you “Past Brendan”, damn you…


In Blackest Night

I got up this morning to look up the showtimes for Green Lantern at Village, Launceston. Strangely, they weren’t showing it. I was a little annoyed, but this sort of thing isn’t that uncommon in our crappy local cinema, so I looked up the Metro times. Not showing. Hmmm. Maybe it’s a week late in Australia, so I look up the release date for Australia. Oh it’s just not on till August…

WAIT! WHAT! AUGUST!

Can it be true, does the Green Lantern hate Australians?

Yes, that’s right. Our release is almost 2 months after the rest of the world. Hell, New Zealand got it today, what makes them so special?

I did some digging and it’s apparently because they want to maximise the amount of 3D screens available (there are too many 3D movies on right now?), because Australians are drawn more to 3D movies than the rest of the world. Considerably more. So much more that they are risking everyone just pirating this movie, or not going because of reviews in the rest of the world might not be good.

Personally, I always like to try to see movies in the cinema, and don’t download them where possible. However, I have a big TV and inevitably a Blu-Ray rip will appear online. For once, I will be really considering downloading it. In this internet age it’s hard enough to avoid finding out spoilers, without having to do it for 2 extra months after the rest of the world saw it.

Would you really rather wait 2 months for a movie, than possibly not be able to see it in 3D? Let me know in the comments!

Yep, this is what Green Lantern thinks of us.